Heart Tracks - Unpacking The Baggage

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.' " Matthew 11:28...."And forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned against us." Luke 11:4....."In the Lord's prayer, all we're asked to do is forgive."....."What would it look like right now if all your baggage became visible?" Sheila Walsh

Anyone who flies today knows that privacy doesn't exist as concerns what we carry along with us. Our bags are subjected to random searches on a regular basis. For me, this means that I don't want anything present that will cause me embarrassment or trouble. I expect you're much the same. If this is true, how much more so is it of the emotional and spiritual baggage we may be carrying? That's why Walsh's above question should hit so close to home for each of us. If the baggage we carry, and all of us carry some degree of it, were to become visible to all, what would all see? What would we see? Unresolved anger and bitterness? Long standing and ever simmering unforgiveness? Secret and clinging sinful behavior? All of us become masters at skillfully packing such things away, out of sight of all. Of all but Him. He, through His Holy Spirit, is a Master at unpacking our baggage and exposing all the things we don't want anyone to see...including ourselves.

We become masters at carrying baggage. Jesus calls them heavy burdens. The horror is, we want to continue to carry it. We've gotten so used to it that we resent, even fear letting it go. We can become very comfortable in our bitterness, unforgiveness, sin, and the shame that goes with it all. We may conceal it in some very grand and lovely luggage, but it's there, eating away at our hearts and minds. Even so, we justify it. It's our right to carry it. If anyone had experienced the kind of betrayal, abuse, or past that we had, they'd be doing what we do, living as we do. So wherever we go, the baggage goes too. And it seems like every day, there's another piece added.

As stated, the baggage can be in many forms, but I don't think any "bag" weighs more upon us than unforgiveness. Sheila Walsh told the story of the man who was asked who his favorite person was. "My tailor," he answered. Why? "Because every time I see him he takes fresh measurements of me." Do we see the connection? His tailor did not hold him to one view, but each time he encountered him, saw him in a new way. In telling this story, Walsh asked, "Who are the people in our lives that we need to have a 'fresh measurement' of?" Who are the people that we need to allow Him to show us in a new light? His Light. Who do we need to see with His mercy? The same mercy He has given to us? The only way we get to the place where we can even answer this question is when we have yielded our baggage to His loving, but thorough search. Have we? Will we? Can we?

Unpacked baggage. Are we ready for it? The giving of fresh measurements. Who in our lives is in need of that? We can have them, give them, or, we can continue to carry and withhold them. What will we most likely be doing today, tomorrow, and beyond?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - How Can This Be?

"You will become pregnant and have a son, and you are to name Him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High......"Mary asked the angel, 'How can this be? I am a virgin.' The angel replied, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you....For nothing is impossible with God.' " Luke 1:31-32, 34-35, 37...." 'How shall this be?' - that is the query of men since the beginning when faced with the message of the supernatural power of God. The natural man cannot receive or comprehend how God works His wonders of grace. The answer is, 'With God nothing shall be impossible.' " Vance Havner

I am more and more coming to see that we who profess to believe and follow Him are living in one of two realms. Either we are living in the country of "How can this be?" or the realm of "With God, nothing is impossible." Then again, perhaps there is a third country. It would be inhabited by those who seemingly spend their lives traveling between the first two. Only one of them is a true safe haven in Him. Which do you think it is?

We in the western Church have become so inundated by our culture that we are far more comfortable and accepting of the "natural man's" way of seeing life than we are of the "supernatural's." Rational thought, reason, and logical thinking are at the forefront. We've become very skillful at it. So much so that we have succeeded in rationalizing away much of the supernatural wonder of His Word and works. If our natural minds cannot grasp or explain something, we then seem obligated to question it. We live in that realm of "How can this be?" and most often conclude that "it can't be." So it isn't. Small wonder that an unbelieving world is not much impressed with what we say we believe. How could they when it seems that we don't really believe the One we say we believe in?

It can be very comfortable to live in the natural all the time. It gives us a feeling of control, and we feel like we have a real handle on the ways of the God we say we follow. However, it is not at all comfortable to live in the realm of "Nothing is impossible with God." Not comfortable to our flesh anyway. Living in this country means we live lives of surrender and trust. We believe in a God who not only can do all things, but more, we are surrendered to Him whether He does what we seek or not. Believing that nothing is impossible means that He makes it possible to live in victory even when He doesn't answer us as we hope. It may be that the greatest supernatural work in a believer is when they can and do live as overcomers even when all around them is collapsing. What seems impossible to go through is made totally possible by the grace and power of the Father. Living in this country means we live in expectation of His working miracles, whether they be of the spectacular, noticed by all, or the quiet, noticed only by us. Oh that the Church would enter into this country. His country.

Too often, I've spent my life going back and forth between the two realms. Believing that nothing is impossible for a time, than, when He didn't respond as hoped and in the time expected, moving over into the "How can this be?" country. It is a miserable way of life, and for too many, it is all we know. Maybe it's what we know right now. The realm of "Nothing is impossible with God," calls to us all. Our hearts hear it. It bids us leave the false comfort of believing we've got it all figured out, and enter into His life of wonder. It also calls us to leave the realm of the double-minded, always going back and forth between "two opinions." All things are possible. Nothing will be impossible. It is an endless land, and surely, there is room for you and me. Will we enter into it?

Many today still talk of "the wonder of Christmas," in the Church especially. Sadly, that wonder is too often confined to the sight of children opening presents, beautiful light displays, and lovely trees. Our wonder stops with these. We miss the real wonder of He who is the greatest gift, the brightest light, and the most lovely of faces. Embrace the Wonder. In Him, all things are possible.

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - What Are You Doing Here?

What Are You Doing Here?
"Towards evening they heard the Lord God walking about in the garden, so they hid themselves among the trees. The Lord God called to Adam, 'Where are you?' " Genesis 3:8-9...." There he came to a cave, where he spent the night. But the Lord said to him, 'What are you doing here Elijah?' " I Kings 19:9....."God is not disappointed in us. He's disappointed for us." James Robison

I think a great need within the Body of Christ is that we learn the difference between conviction and condemnation. As Sheila Walsh has said, "Conviction is meant to draw us to Him. Condemnation will always drive us from Him." Though we may know the Scripture, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ," we most often don't live as though we believe it. If we have failed Him, and we do and will, the enemy of our souls is right there to begin to lay his condemnation (not the Father's) upon us. "You messed up. You sinned. He won't forgive or forget. It's all over for you now." I know. I've been there. You have too. Maybe you're there right now.

Let me say that I believe fully in a Father who holds us accountable in Christ. I don't believe in a cheap grace that allows us to live as we please and just think that His grace and love will make up for all of it in the end. We are called to holiness of life, and there are real consequences if we reject and disobey that calling. What we don't understand is what His heart response to all of that is. We think it's anger and retribution. I don't think it is. I believe His first response is sorrow. Sorrow over what we have brought upon ourselves and very likely others. His second response I believe, is desire. Desire to draw us to His heart in repentance, and in our repentance, He washes us and makes us clean. He does not lay condemnation upon us, which will surely drive us from Him, but convicts us, in our hearts, of our sin and failure. Making us aware of what our actions have cost us, and the damage they have done to us, to others, to Him. David said "Against Thee and Thee alone have I sinned." His convicting grace will bring us to that place as well. Yes, He hates sin. Yes, consistent, defiant rebellion will arouse His anger and wrath, but not until we have so rejected His grace that we can no longer respond to it.

I have seen the truth of Robison's words, that He is not disappointed in us, but for us, in my own life. I have told few people this story, but its reality is imprinted on my heart more than 30 years later. During my second year at Bible College, I was involved in a relationship that had more pain than anything else. I was sure He was directing me to break it off, and in obedience, I went to her to do so. In the course of that, I misread her response as one of sincerely desiring to have everything in the relationship change, and that the Lord had just wanted me to be willing to break it off. I remained in it, and eventually, we married. But it is what happened after I left her apartment that has remained with me all these years later.

I went into the city of Colorado Springs and walked about it as I was wont to do. As I did so, I felt a hollowness in my heart and spirit that I could not escape. I didn't fully realize what was happening, but I know now that it was His Spirit grieving over what would eventually happen. Pain, sorrow, destruction, as He foresaw the divorce and brokenness that lie ahead. He was not disappointed in me, but for me. Like Elijah, He was asking me what I was doing in this place? I missed His will and heart...and in great measure. But my failure was not final, and out of the ashes of that failure, He brought forth new life. Greater life. He always does. He always will...if we will respond to the conviction of His Spirit upon our hearts. Even when we miss it the first time.....and many times more.

The last word over our sins and failures is not the devil's condemnation, but the Father's convicting but gracious assurance that there is forgiveness, hope, and healing in His grace and love. Wherever we are, even if it is in the place He told us not to go to, He comes. He seeks. He calls to us. The only question is, will we allow ourselves to be drawn to Him, or the enemy to drive us from Him? Which direction are you moving in?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - What Must I Do?

"You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." Psalm 16:11

So often in our corporate worship we hear, in various but similar ways, the invitation to "Come into His Presence." I've said it myself...many times. More and more however, the question keeps arising in my spirit; What would happen if we ceased to be "visitors" to His Presence, but lived there? That we lived so connected to Him, so conscious of Him that His effect upon our lives would be seen in every area of life. If this were the case with us, how many of our current attitudes, and how much of our ingrained temperament would remain the same? The walk of a believer is to be one of ongoing transformation, but here's the problem; too few of those who profess to believe are really being transformed. That's not going to happen with an hour spent with Him on Sunday, and some hit and miss "devotional" time through the week. You can bring a block of ice into a heated room for an hour or two, and some melting will surely happen, but when you take it back outside, it quickly freezes again. Such is the result for far too many who say they are His. Paul said we are to be "transformed from glory to glory" in Him. The "ice" of our flesh is melted away in His Presence. Our problem is that we don't spend much time in the environment of His Presence. We conform to what and who we spend the most time with. The ice of our flesh life never really melts away, and we live in that flesh, not in His Spirit.

This doesn't mean that we don't try to live right, or do right. It does mean that we easily fall into a kind of "Christian law," where we base it all on our works. The rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked "What good must I do to have eternal life." Jesus asked him if had been keeping all the commandments. He replied that he had. The Lord then said, "One thing you lack. Go, sell all you have, and follow Me." Scripture tells us that he walked away sad, because he had many possessions. Jesus was telling Him that the "one thing," really, the only thing, was that he be with Him. Everything flows out of that. Nothing can get in the way of that. Our great problem is that so much does. Activity, even ministry activity does. So do our agendas, our human relationships, our possessions, our goals and our desires. Definitely our cherished sins. Having them, even when we know some or all of them may be hurting us, means more to us than having Him. We want many things more than we want the One thing. And so we make our obligatory appearances before Him, and then, like the block of ice, go back outside to our much more familiar environment.

Within all of us is a yearning for His eternal life. It is found in only one place; His Presence. And His Presence is found first at the cross. It is there we embrace Him, and we can only embrace Him with empty hands. When we do, we can never let Him go. We discover the meaning of the old hymn, "Nothing to Thee I bring, only to Thy cross I cling." So begins our transformation "from glory to glory." In His Presence.

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Epidemic

"I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight." Isaiah 45:2....."Then he said to them, 'Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10....." The darkness of the world, the distortions of our flesh, and the schemes of the evil one combine to create illusions of despair. Resist them all. God's truth is remarkably contrary to what our souls perceive." Chris Tiegreen...."By the year 2020, the leading epidemic in our nation will be depression." Dr. Michelle Bengston

Depression. Many are held in its grip constantly. Many more deal with it often. All of us have suffered under it at one time or another. Bengston, a clinical psychologist, and one who spent years in the clutches of this jailer, says that while depression can result in part due to diet, sleep habits, and chemical imbalances in the brain, we cannot leave out the very real spiritual element in all of it. The enemy will seek to kill and destroy through any avenue possible, and while diet corrections and certain medications can help, our greatest weapon in all of it is the word and truth of God. Depression can often stem from our acceptance of a lie or lies planted in our mind and spirit by the enemy of our souls. Lies we believe about others, ourselves, and about God. When we accept these lies, we accept defeat, and open the door for the devil to pummel us with them. In these cases we need to "know the Truth" which makes us free. Not just truth lodged in our minds by memorization, but in the very fabric of our being. This means meditating, soaking in His truth, His word, so that it permeates every fiber of our being. Where His Truth is, He is, "and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

We also suffer depression as a result of dissatisfaction and discontent. Bengston says it often comes about by our constant habit of comparing. We compare our lives with others, and almost always, we come off a very poor second. Pastors know this firsthand. We too often compare ourselves to other pastors, almost always those seen as successful, and end up feeling inferior to them. Small wonder that a frightening number of current pastors admit to suffering from chronic depression. Sadly, the organized church can nurture rather than heal this toxic habit. We can also compare our lives with the lives we wish we would have, or the dreams we once dreamed. Our reality doesn't match our dream. Our outcome is nothing like our expectation. All this, as Bengston notes, makes us "immune to joy." We are unable to see Him as good when we insist that our lives aren't. We don't believe that He can make the "crooked place straight." Yet He can, He will, if we will allow Him to replace all the lies with His Truth.

I know this is a subject far beyond my few paragraphs, but as one who has himself walked through deep times of depressing darkness, I have found, and still find, that focusing on, dwelling on His Truth, allowing it to fill my heart, mind, and spirit, keeps me open to fresh waves of His joy. A.W. Tozer wrote a book titled, "I Talk Back To The Devil." He knew what Jesus taught and still teaches....Truth makes us free. His Truth brings ever greater infusions of His joy....in even the darkest places. Paul knew this is a tiny jail cell. John knew it on the island of Patmos. So have countless others who looked not at their lives in comparison to others, but in relation to Him....and His love, mercy, and peace. And they knew joy. May we know it too. Against His joy, no epidemic can spread.

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Bag Of Flour

"Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven time?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.' " Matthew 18:21-22....."Forgiveness is God's gift to us to live in a world that's not fair." Sheila Walsh

Sheila Walsh tells the story of her young son's struggle with a friend whose actions had caused him much pain and anger. He told her that not only would he cease to have him as a friend and never forgive him, but that he would no longer pray for him as well. Walsh then asked him to go for a walk with her, but first told him to go to the kitchen and get the large sack of flour just purchased that day. She told him he was to carry that sack as they walked. Being only 7 years old, the flour was an increasingly heavy load for him. Not far into the walk, he asked his mother if he could put the flour down, but she refused, asking him to continue to carry it. They went on, but soon reached a point where, exhausted, he couldn't carry it further, and had to set it down. It was at that point that she said unforgiveness in his heart did the same thing to his spirit that the sack of flour had done to his body. At some point, it has to be let go because we can go no further with it. Unforgiveness is a burden that will cripple us every time....no matter how hard we try to hide it, deny it, or justify it.

As Walsh says, we live in an unfair world. People often don't treat as they should. Difficult people can abound in our lives. They inflict wounds, often deep, upon us. At times they're unintentional. Many times they're not. The desire of the flesh is to get even, to punish, to force an accounting. I know. I've been there. So have you. I've carried the sack of flour, and been crippled by its weight. So have you. Maybe you are right now. At what point will we be willing to put the sack down, to let it go? When will we release the burden of the grudge we have carried so long? When will we finally have rest from it?

Peter was very aware of the fact he lived in an unfair world. He was willing to forgive....up to a point. He thought seven times more than generous. Jesus disagreed. The number He used, seven times seventy wasn't meant to be goal. He meant for Peter to see that there should never be a limit to our forgiveness of others. No matter how many "bags of flour" they may put upon us, we must to forgive. We have to be free of the flour. Otherwise it will kill us....slowly but surely.

There was a time when I struggled with a very large "bag of flour." I harbored great bitterness towards someone, and to the point that the very thought of them brought a sourness to my spirit. A sourness that hindered my walk with Him as well as blunted any spiritual progress. I justified, denied, and tried to keep it hidden, sometimes all at once. Yet finally, He brought me to a place where to have His life, I had to let it go from my life. I began to pray and speak forgiveness to this one. Let me say, I did not feel that forgiveness at all. Yet, by His grace, I willed to forgive, and continued to pray that forgiveness every day, and every time angry thoughts about them came to mind. It took time, but He worked through all the layers of anger and bitterness until the point came where I felt and experienced the giving of the forgiveness I had been speaking. It also brought to me a deeper sense of His mercy to me and my own need of His forgiveness. It was not any easy path. His way never is, but it is the only way to His wholeness.

Unfair people and actions continue to happen. Wounds continue to come. For you and for me. Our choice is, will we continue to carry the weight of them until we reach the place where we cannot go on, or, will we surrender them, and the people who have committed them to Him? Forgiveness. The healing, cleansing and freedom may not happen all at once, but it will happen...... What's your bag of flour? Will you let it go?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Golden Thread

"There was a believer in Joppa named Tabitha. She was always doing kind things for others and helping the poor. About this time she became ill and died.....Her friends....heard Peter was nearby at Lydda, so they sent two men to beg him, 'Please come as soon as possible!' So Peter returned with them and as soon as he arrived they took him to the upstairs room. The room was filled with widows who were weeping and showed him the coats and other garments Tabitha had made for them."

A friend shared yesterday of a Memorial Service that he'll be speaking at for a close friend who had lived a wonderful life in Christ. Wonderful though much of it was filled with pain, heartache, and suffering. After a long battle, she had succumbed to cancer. He talked of sharing the above Scripture and how the deceased Tabitha's room was filled with things she had woven and made. It made him think of the weaving of a tapestry, and how that tapestry, as many before have commented, can represent the living out of a life. As I listened, I thought of just how that might apply to my life, your life, all of our lives.

In times past, and I imagine even now, the finest clothes and tapestries often had thread made in part of pure gold woven into them. It was meant to add to the richness of the finished work. My thought is how the Father, through Christ, in the weaving of the tapestry of our own lives, seeks to weave into them, the golden thread of His life and activity. The question for me, for you and all of us is this; how much gold has been woven into our lives by His hand? In the clothing and tapestries I speak of, the presence of the golden thread was undeniable. They literally shown with golden brilliance. Do our lives do the same? Have the golden threads that He has sought to weave into our lives through the events of our lives been received? It is said that a tapestry when viewed from behind is a monstrosity to look upon. It makes no sense at all. But when looked upon from the front, is a work of beauty. How many of us see our lives and the lives of others that way? Only from behind. Never seeing the beauty that He seeks to work into, is working into them with His golden thread. Golden thread soaked in His blood...and ours as well.

The cost of the golden thread in the tapestries and clothing I speak of was great. So is its presence in the lives I speak of. It was so in the sister who has gone before us to His rest and glory. If we are to have such thread in our own lives, it will be for us as well. The thread is not found in lives of ease. Lives that seek an avoidance of all pain and trouble. Lives whose constant cry to Him is for deliverance from all pain and heartache. No, only those lives that surrender, joyfully to His leading, even when that leading will take us through a dark night of the soul. A dark night that can seem an eternity in length. It is in those places, places of loss, sacrifice, sorrow, and suffering, that the golden thread is woven. Woven by and with hands of love. His love. Unending love. Lives that shine with the brilliance of His golden thread. Golden thread that will show throughout eternity.

What is being woven into our lives today? What shows before a watching world? What will show when our time here is over? What will be our tapestry, our clothing? Brilliant with His thread of gold, or....not? To have such thread will cost us everything, but we will gain all things in Him. He weaves our lives even now. What thread would you have?

Blessings,
Pastor O