Deeper Surrender

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ. Phillippians 3:8 There's an old hymn that I love with the lyric, "Deeper, deeper, in the love of Jesus, daily let me grow." Something I've learned is that He will seek to see if we will live out all those songs and verses that we say we love. I remember so well a true crisis time when He sought to see if I would. Our church had lost the first lease we'd ever signed. A printing company wanted our space and would pay more than we ever could. We had to find a new place to worship. It was a bad time for this to happen. Rents had risen dramatically, and we would have to pay double what we had been paying. Our leadership and I prayed and sought Him and His will. We felt that a space I'd found would work for us, but it would be challenging financially. Going into our previous space had also been so, and had also required a step of real faith, trust, and dependency upon Him. We signed a lease, and then everything seemed to come together to obstruct our way. Several families chose this time to leave the fellowship, though they had never talked to me about it. I had believed they would be part of the ministry going forward. Some others had job transfers that took them away. In the end, we lost a great deal of the financial base, a base I had been counting on. Our resources began to dry up, and though we were attracting new families, our resources were not increasing at the rate we needed. By the end of our first year, we were in a very hard place. Paying our rental obligation was becoming not just difficult, it had begun to look impossible. I not only couldn't see how we could do all that was needed, I wasn't seeing Him. I had lost Him in the midst of the need. Yet I would find out He was there all the time....waiting for me. I always considered myself a man of faith and one who trusted God, but my response to the need was to take it upon myself to try and make up the monthly shortfall. I began to do cash advances to meet our rent. Month after month I did this. The pressures upon me mounted. I cried out to Him for help, but no help seemed coming. Finally, after months of this increasing unbearable pressure, I broke. I was exhausted. I was in despair. I couldn't go on like this. I was at the end of myself. I was also at the beginning of God, but I wouldn't realize that for a bit. My leadership had been faithful in this as well. They were good givers. We made some decisions. We would tithe 10% of our income regardless of what our monthly expenses were. That was good and God honored that, but that was not what opened the door for His miracles. That came when I reached the blessing of releasing what I thought was my responsibility, seeing that all was taken care of, and turning it all over to Him. All of it. Not just the need, but the pressure, the worry, the anxiety over all the "what if's" that the devil would throw at me. He had taken me to the place of a deeper surrender to Him, to His Lordship. To His faithfulness. To His promises. I would surrender my place of trying to provide for His church. I would surrender to His promise to do so. From that moment, everything began to turn around. The challenges were still there, but I never had to do another cash advance. I realized that my doing so had been my telling Him that I didn't trust Him to take care of His church. His church, not mine.We were there three more years. We paid all our obligations in full. Both Kingdom and secular ones. Through my deep need and pain, I had found a deep Lord and a deeper grace. It was a lesson I would never forget, but one He has had to refresh me about more than once. As He seeks to do a deeper work, He also seeks to bring us to a deeper surrender. Maybe He's doing that in you right now. Yield to Him. He won't fail you. He never will. Let the chains of self-reliance go. Find the victory that can only come from our surrender. Blessings, Pastor O

41st Day

I watched a wonderful teaching video today. You may have heard this before, but even if you have, it's worth a revisit. The person speaking listed a number of events in the Bible that dealt with the number 40. Moses spending 40 years in the backside of the desert. Israel wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. Goliath taunting the army of Israel for 40 days. Jonah preaching in Nineveh for 40 days. Jesus going without food or water for 40 days in the wilderness. These are just a few of the examples of happenings around the number 40. What is the core significance in all of them? All of these events contain hardship, suffering, danger, impossibility. All of them went on for a lengthy time with no seeming change coming. More, all of the events had been directly or indirectly ordained by God. Those in the midst of it all had two choices; they could either press on, persevere, obey, and trust, or they could give up. Sometimes they knew that the Father had brought all of it about, at other times, these things had come upon them. Either way, their choice was the same. Either keep walking forward, even though it appeared they were going nowhere, all the while trusting and obeying, or simply stop, give up, and turn back, and this is where the teaching becomes so powerful and clear. No matter how many days, weeks, or years were involved in the number 40, in every case, there was also a number 41. For Moses, in the 41st year, God appeared to him and commissioned him to lead his people out of slavery. On the 41st day, David faced Goliath and slew him.On the 41st day of Jonah's preaching, Nineveh repented, and a mighty move of God swept the entire city. In the 41st year of Israel's wandering the wilderness, God brought them into the land He had promised them, and on the 41st day of His temptation, Jesus caused the devil to flee from Him.....and none of it would have happened if any of them had given up on the 41st day, week, month, or year. That's the lesson, encouragement, and promise for each of us. No matter how long our wilderness trial has been going on, despite the pain, the cost, the danger, press on. Don't give up. Your 41st day will come. He will not fail you. How many of us, when we stand before Him one day, will be shown those places where He had purposed to bring us glorious victory and the laying hold of cherished promises, but we never had them because we gave up on the 40th day? Hold on. He will not fail you. There is a 41st day for each of us....if we do not give up. Blessings, Pastor O

One

I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. John 17:21 It's been said, many times in fact, that this is the one prayer of Christ's that has never been fully answered. Jesus prayed (and still prays I'm sure) that His church would be one in Him and His Father. This means unified in the Holy Spirit. As we honestly examine not only our local church, but our particular part of the Body of Christ as to its relation with the rest of the Body, can we agree? He tells us in His Word that we are not to grieve the Holy Spirit, yet we consistently do so, and nowhere perhaps so much as how we relate to one another in Him. I have pastored divided fellowships (an oxymoron perhaps?) and suffered at their hands, along with many another pastor and person. How deeply we have grieved His heart with the ways we treat one another. It has always been so to varying degrees. I believe in these days that may well be the last days, that it is only getting worse. For some time now, I have been witnessing the people of God devouring one another. I have watched and listened to many good brothers and sisters being attacked, labeled as heretics, purveyors of witchcraft, rebellion, false doctrine, being wolves in sheep's clothing, and much more. All because they may hold to a doctrine that is at odds with theirs. I believe in having sound and correct doctrine and beliefs, but as Lisa Bevere, who herself has been accused of being much of what is listed above said, we are never going to agree on every point in our particular doctrines, but we must, absolutely must, center on being in agreement in the core beliefs of the Bible; the Personhood of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Original sin and the truth that all are lost and that Jesus Christ is the only path to the Father. The authority of Scripture, the cross of Christ, the resurrection, and holiness of life. There will be differences, such as how we see the gifts of the Spirit, eternal security, healing, and hearing the voice of God. None of these are central to our faith. The fact that we are human means we will differ on some points, but we cannot differ on that which is central to our faith. In these we are to be immovable, but as John Wesley, on all other things we are to show love towards one another. What is going right now is anything but loving. Every time I see an article or hear someone preach against others who do not agree with their particular doctrine, my heart grieves. I can't begin to imagine how it must grieve the heart of God. Jesus prayed that the world would see our unity, a unity based upon holy love for each other, so that they might believe the Father had sent Him. How many do not believe because all they have seen is a church at war with itself, and what part have we played in that war? Where heresy and false teachings are being spread, we need to counter it with His Truth, and strongly, but we do so in love, not with attacks and name calling. Let us gather around what is essential to the faith, and show tolerance and lovingkindness in the areas where we may differ. Let us do so that we may bless and bring joy to the heart of Christ, and in the opening of the eyes and hearts of an unbelieving world as it sees how much we love Him, His people, and them. Blessings, Pastor O

His Song

How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land? Psalm 134:7 A friend of mine regularly sends me his writings. They're a blessing. One of his most recent closed with an exhortation that we, the followers of Christ, would not cease singing His "song" as we walk through this "strange land." An increasingly strange land. The above Psalm was written during Israel's Babylonian captivity, with the psalmist asking the question of how could the people sing of Him and to Him in this land of bondage and pain? It's a fair question. One many of us are asking even now. How in the land of our affliction and heartache, can we be expected to sing songs of praise and gratitude, of His glory and greatness in the "land" we are walking through. Today I attended the graveside service of a man who recently died from the disease of cancer. His father, my friend, sat at the graveside. 10 years earlier, almost to the day, he had buried his daughter in this same cemetery. His only two children, both taken too early by a hateful disease. How could he sing the Lord's song in this land he found himself in? How could the man who just a week ago received a letter from his wife's lawyer, initiating divorce proceedings? How could the young husband, who tomorrow will bury his lovely wife, also a victim of cancer? How can any of us who walk through the darkness that surrounds us? The answer is not easy to come upon, but it is real, and it is true. I heard Joni Eareckson Tada speaking this morning on suffering, something she is far too well acquainted with. She spoke of the furnace experience of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego's furnace experience at the hands of the Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar. They had refused to bow to the godlike image of himself he had made. He ordered their execution in a blazing hot furnace. They didn't die. Instead, as the king looked on, he saw not just the three men walking about in the fire unharmed, but a fourth who was with them. That one was Christ Himself. Tada said that in the midst of the white hot flames they came into a union, and intimacy with Him more wondrous and glorious than any words could describe. It's what she has discovered in her own suffering. It's what He would have us discover in ours. This is how, even in the strangest land of deepest sufferings, we may still sing His song, even though we sing it with tears. In the flames, we find the sweetness and intimacy of Christ. To be a follower of Christ is to be a stranger in a foreign land. This is not our home, and this land we walk through on the way to that which is our home, is filled with loss and pain. We will enter into the furnace more than once, but in it, we will discover an intimacy with Him the flames and heat cannot touch. If you're there, look for Him, because He is there with you, and if you let Him, He will give you His song, and you will sing it, even if you sing it with tears. Blessings, Pastor O

Where?

So Jesus asked the Twelve, "Do you want to leave too?" Simon Peter replied, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe that You are the Holy One of God." John 6:67-69 There have been places in my life where I spoke the same words to Christ that Peter did. Two come to mind right now. The first was early on in my walk. My first year with Him was a lonely one. I'd left my lifestyle of parties, drugs, chasing women, and all that goes with that. Some of the disengagements came easily, some much less so. Though I had left the lifestyle, the lifestyle was still all around me, especially where I lived. One evening the people who lived where I lived opened up a bag of grass and began rolling joints. They proceeded to pass them around. It came to me. I can't say even now why I partook, but I did. The weed was particularly potent and I felt the effects immediately. Here's the thing; I was high and I knew it, yet my mind was clear, and in the clarity, I heard the whisper of His Spirit. He simply asked, "Is what you're feeling now in any way as wonderful as what you experienced when you first met Me?" It wasn't. I knew it wasn't, and my heart melted before Him. With that, the effects of the grass left immediately. I walked away from that gathering and from the counterfeit "high" I found there. I never went back. I knew that no high the world could offer could ever compare to the beauty of knowing Him. Like Peter, where could I go? I knew He had the words of life. I'd experienced them. How could I ever leave Him? The second time took place years later, in the midst of my divorce and my having to step out of ministry. Life was hard, confusing, terrifying, and I had no idea how it could have gotten like this. I was a follower of Jesus Christ. How could this happen? Into this the accusations of the enemy screamed at me. How could I follow a Jesus who'd allowed this? Where was He? Why didn't He stop it? Why didn't He immediately put an end to my suffering? If this was what life in Christ was, wasn't I better off in what my life was without Him than I was now? Each time, I would hear the whisper of His grace. This was not the end. This was not where He would leave me. I did have a future and a hope. At root, like Peter, I knew that there was no place else for me to go. I knew He had the words and ways of life. I had experienced that truth many times over. By His grace I would trust Him. By His grace I would press on. If you are truly following hard after Jesus, such times will come upon you. Times when the pull of turning back is powerful. Maybe you're in one now. If so, focus on who He was to you when you first knew Him and who He has continued to be. Press on, believing, trusting, obeying. He is with you, regardless of what the enemy is saying through it all. I close with this story about Annie Herring, one of the foremost Jesus Music people. She was living in the Haight-Ashbury section of San Francisco during the hippie centered summer of love. She had hopes of being a rock star and had just been offered a big record contract. She had also recently come to Christ as her Savior. She said she was faced with a choice, and in the choice, she heard the voice of the Spirit, saying to her that she could have everything she ever wanted if she signed the contract.....or she could have Him. She must choose. She said she answered Him with, "Lord, after knowing You, I don't want anything else." That choice will come to each of us, many times in fact. How do we choose? For Annie Herring, there was no other option but Jesus. How about for you and me? Where do we go if we don't go after Him? Blessings, Pastor O

The Room

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24 Perhaps you've heard or read a description of how, when a believer comes before the Lord in eternity, they'll be shown a room where all the blessings the Lord wanted to shower upon them were stored. Those blessings never came, the story says, because they lacked faith, trust, and so on. It's a good illustration and a valid one. It will be a tragedy to see the contents of that room. Yet, I believe there is a much greater tragedy concerning a much lesser known room. It's the room that contains the cross that Christ called us to take up and bear, as we follow Him wherever He leads, yet we never did. How many of us may have such a room, yet aren't even aware of it? I think we have a skewed understanding of what it means to bear our cross and follow Him. I think many of us point at a particularly difficult and painful situation, a crumbling marriage, a ministry that costs us, prodigal children. All of these and more are very painful, but they alone don't make for our cross. Our cross is the same one Christ bore. Our cross is our surrender to everything in our lives that could happen or will happen. Our cross is all that is involved in our complete surrender and submission to whatever He leads us to and through and His purpose for us in it. No matter the cost, no matter the way. Like Christ in Gethsemane, we have already determined that nothing He asks, commands, or requires is off limits in our lives. Wherever He leads and whatever the fruit of His leading may be for us, we've already determined we will follow, no matter how heavy the cross coming out of our decision may become. The Roman crosses left nothing alive and neither does the cross of Christ. At least nothing of the self-will. Self has been died to and Christ's will is what we live for. This is what a disciple is called to with no exceptions. Jesus made this declaration to a large crowd that was following Him, All but His chosen disciples turned back. Such is the cost of the cross, and such is the reason so many rooms that are symbolic of the cross He has called us to....still contain our cross. Do you and I have such a room? I have no desire to experience the scenario of the first room I write about. I want to receive every good thing that He has for me. I want His everything, but I tremble to think of having to face Him about the second room. The one that contains the cross I never had the courage to pick up and carry, and as a result, caused me to never completely follow Him. We will give an account for how we lived in Him, made use of His gifts, and our obedience for His call to His cross. We will lay the spiritual treasures we have accumulated in this life at His feet. I like to think that perhaps our greatest offering to Him will be the cross we bore in His name. I hope I have one to offer Him. I hope mine is not still sitting in a room. How about you? Blessings, Pastor O

Silence

Scripture speaks a good deal about how God hides Himself from us at times. He doesn't do so out of cruelty but He does so with the hope that the seeming silence is nothing more than His invitation to seek Him out, to hear His voice, and in His voice, His heart. Sadly, for too many of us, our seeking is short lived. If He doesn't begin speaking within an already set time by us, with pull away in frustration, in anger, in defeat. What riches we miss. Jesus said that we have ears to hear but don't hear, and eyes to see, but we don't see. In His silence, in His seemingly total absence, Jesus has given us a directive. We're to seek and keep on seeking. To ask and keep on asking. To knock, and to keep on knocking. He has so much to say to us. So much for us to see, but He does so to those who seek Him, look for Him, with a passion. It's to such that He reveals His heart and to whom He shows Himself. Have we such fervor for Him, or are we more in sync with the background noise of this world? He doesn't offer soundbites and video clips of Himself to us. He offers the treasures of eternity, but we can never come by them cheaply or with ease. We come by them not by how hard we work at reaching Him, but how desperately we desire Him. Real desperation for Him will not be put off by the obstacles that the world and the enemy tries to put between He and us. It will press on, pray through, and lay hold. We will hear Him who never really stopped speaking and see Him who really was always there. Truly, when He seems to not be speaking, He speaks the loudest, and when we think He isn't there, He's standing right before us. Blessings, Pastor O