Unaware

 "When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." Genesis 28:16

I've a good friend named Kerry Willis, who among his many talents, is a gifted photographer. Kerry is currently serving as a District Superintendent on the Philadelphia District of our denomination. He is based in Cape May, NJ, a town I know something about as I lived and served the Lord there for a little over two years in the beginning of the 90's. One of the things Kerry does is post a great number of photos of the town and area on Facebook. So many are truly beautiful, but I view them with a kind of bittersweet regret. You see, in all the time I lived there, I never saw most of the beauty he puts on display.

I could come up with a myriad of reasons why this is so, but there's only one real one: I didn't see the beauty because I was so caught up in all in my life that had no beauty. That time was one where I was adjusting to a totally different kind of life and ministry than I had ever expected or planned for. I never planned to be divorced. I never planned on being a part time associate pastor. Heck, I had never planned on living in south Jersey at all. I was thankful that the Lord had provided this place for me, and He used that place to do His ongoing work of healing. But in His healing process I had missed so much. There was real beauty all around, but I never really saw it. This was not the place I really wanted to be and as a result, everything I "saw" was obscured by that attitude. I know now that as much as He did in me there, He could have done even more if I had been fully open to all He wanted me to experience in that place. Might there be a similar reality in your life? How much beauty are you missing in the place where you're "living" right now, simply because it's not where you really want to be? It's not the place you envisioned for yourself.

Jacob was a schemer and manipulator. He was a man completely obsessed with himself. God had put His hand upon him while he was still in his mother's womb, but that hadn't really made a great difference to him up to this point. He had tricked his brother Esau out of his inheritance and was now on the run from his brother's wrath. Self-preservation was central to his thought process. That's what filled his field of vision. Then the Lord spoke to him in a dream, promising His deliverance and protection. When he awoke, he made his statement that in that place of hiding, the Lord had been totally present, yet he'd missed him. He never saw Him. For me, in too many ways, my time in Cape May was much the same. I lived, I ministered and grew in Him, but I missed too much of what He had for me there. I missed so much of the beauty that I could have experienced in that place. Right now, maybe you are too in the place where He's led you to for this time in your life.

Kerry's pictures always bring that tinge of regret. Not "seeing" what his camera sees while I had the opportunity to see it reminds me of how much deeper my contentment and well-being could have been if only I'd have been willing to see. How much better could my time have been there and how much deeper and quicker the healing if my eyes had been fully open? I'd missed so much, and though I can go back now and see what I didn't see then, the reality is that I didn't see it then, and it cost me more than I want to dwell upon.

Where in your life are you, like I was, unaware of all the beauty He has for you there? Not just the beauty of your surroundings, but the beauty of His presence. How much of your life is being lived out unawares? Unaware of Him, of His blessings for you there, and of what He is doing in that place. A place you never wanted to be, but a place He seeks to reveal Himself to you in ways you never dreamed of.

May we right now renounce our living unaware. Unaware of all the beauty He has for us even in the unenvisioned place. In the unenvisioned place, He has for us the most beautiful visions of Himself. May we not miss any of them.

Blessings,
Pastor O