Tremble And Trust

 "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.' 'Pardon me, my lord,' Gideon replied, 'but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all His wonders that our ancestors told us about?' " Judges 6:11-13

Israel, as they had done consitently, had turned away from God, and were suffering the consequences of that. The Midianites, a neighboring nation, terrorized them with constant raids, and the carrying away of their people and their possessions. They lived in such hopelessness that Gideon was in a winepress threshing wheat, for fear he would be discovered by them and killed, with the wheat taken. In these desperate and seemingly hopeless circumstances, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, addressing him as a mighty warrior, which obviously Gideon didn't see himself as being. In response, Gideon came up with a valid question; if he was all the Lord was telling him that he was, why were he and the people of Israel in this situation? More, where was the almighty God they had been taught about? Where were His miracles and wonders? Where was He?

Israel found itself where it was because of their sinful behavior. We're not told whether Gideon himself displayed such behavior, but regardless, he was living in the same circumstances as those who had. This is a good picture of what can happen in the life of believers and unbelievers alike. Whether as a result of our own disobedience, or that of others, we can find ourselves in very dark places. Hopeless places. Places where we, like Gideon, ask the question, "God, where are you? God, why has this happened? God, where is the power I have heard of, that I have believed in?" Maybe you find yourself in such a place today. Maybe you're asking those very questions. I have. Let me share with you the first time that I did.

It was a month or so after my marriage had crumbled and I had stepped out of ministry. I was in a kind of spiritual coma, with my whole life turned upside down, and absolutely no idea of how I would live, or what I would do. Through a pastor friend, I secured a job with a Coca-Cola distribution center in Charlottesville, Virginia as a trucker's helper. I have never forgotten that first morning of work.

I drove to work that early morning in the dark. I felt shrouded in that darkness. The delivery trucks all went out while it was still dark, and the truck I was on had its first stop at a small store in the city. We parked under a streetlight, and the driver had me stay in the truck's cab. As I sat there, looking at that light in the darkness, I, like Gideon, had those very questions; how did I get here? Why was I here? And most of all, where was my God, the God I had faithfully served. The God I had trusted. I was overwhelmed with despair. With that, the driver returned, and we went about the day. A day I can no longer really remember.

No angel appeared to me that morning. Nor did the Lord say anything in reply to my questions. All I could do, all I felt compelled to do, was to trust Him. Trust Him and tremble. Trust, tremble, and keep looking for the light that was there in the darkness, even if all my circumstances shouted that He wasn't. In the midst of the pain, I would trust, I would tremble, and I would hold on....and I would hurt. I would bleed.

I know. All this sounds so dark, bleak, and hopeless, but the fact that I write this should also tell you that He didn't leave me in my questions, or in the darkness. In all of it, He worked, most of it unseen and often unnoticed, but He knit together events that step by step restored my life, restored my ministry, and brought me into a state of joy I never thought that morning could be possible. That morning I felt myself a hopeless failure. He didn't see that at all, and though I couldn't hear His words then, I know He spoke something completely different to me and over me. As I trembled and trusted, and yes, sometimes angrily questioned Him, He worked and He restored. And He taught me something that I would come to know well as I sat looking at that streetlight; never stop looking at and for the light in the darkness, for He is there, and no depth of darkness can keep Him from us.

I first heard the idea of "tremble and trust" from author Larry Crabb. I've come to see that it is a state of faith that one way or another, all true believers will come to; the state of "trembling trust." In it, we face adversaries, challenges, and conditions that in our humanity make our hearts tremble. Our only recourse in the trembling is to trust. Life can and will be overwhelming at times. The Father understands we're but dust. He's not put off by our trembling, but He will give us the grace to trust Him in it. May we, in our times of trembling, trust Him. He will not fail us. He will make a way. He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. That's my testimony. As you tremble, trust Him, and it will be yours as well.

Blessings,

Pastor O