Heart Tracks - What Will You Do Now?

"But if I release Barabbas," Pilate asked them, "what should I do with Jesus who is called the Messiah?" Matthew 27:22...."The question is not, 'What will you do with Jesus?' but 'What will you do with Him now?' ......"While we are puttering, life gets away." Vance Havner

John Bevere said that what we do with the cross and Jesus Christ will determine where we spend eternity. What we do with the cross and Christ in our day to day lives will determine how we spend eternity. That's why Havner's question about what will you, we, do with Him now, right now, is the most important question we will ever be asked. Everything, eternity itself, hangs on that answer. The reality of Christ, who He is, what He has done, and the decision He calls us to is and will always be something and Someone directly before us. What will you do with Him? What will you do with Him right now?

The 21st century western church has given us a portrait of a Christ that I don't think exists. A Christ who has never existed. This Jesus Christ doesn't press us to make a decision concerning Himself. This Jesus Christ doesn't want to hurt our feelings or offend us. This Jesus Christ doesn't confront, doesn't offend, and doesn't make any demands. This Jesus Christ is very acceptable to our flesh. This Jesus Christ doesn't exist. He never has.

John Eldredge, in one of his writings, said, "I want to know Jesus. The real Jesus." This is a bold petition, because the real Jesus will likely be Someone who will make us decidedly uncomfortable. When Peter was confronted with the reality of who Jesus truly was, he begged Him to go away from him, that he was too unclean to be in His presence. That will always be the result of coming into contact with the real Jesus. His holiness will confront all that is unholy within us. That is a frightening, yet beautiful thing. It terrifies our flesh, yet at the same time calls us forth to His life, His holiness, His wonder. It's beautiful because while His presence will convict of what is wrong within us, it will not be accompanied by condemnation. Though He shows us the hopelessness of depending on our own righteousness, at the same time He invites us into the hope of living in His. It's a "now" moment. He comes and presents Himself to us, and then asks, "What will you do with Me now?"

But it doesn't end there. He's brought us to the reality of His cross and of Himself. What we do with that decides the state of our eternity; either Light, and Life, or darkness and death. What follows is a day by day choice of what we will do with Him now, today. Will He be Lord, or merely available to us for the carrying out of our agendas and desires? Will we be surrendered to Him in every aspect of our lives this day? Will we follow where He leads? Will it be our will, or His? Will we be living for Him, or will we be living for us? Will we live for His glory, or ours? All these questions demand an answer.....now. What's ours? What's yours?

We fallen humans are master procrastinators. We love to put off till tomorrow.....except He guarantees us nothing but right now. So what are you doing with Him right now? What do you do now concerning Christ and eternity? What will you do concerning His Lordship, His will, His call to holiness and purity? He's more than willing to confront you on this. He calls for an answer right now. How do you answer Him....right now?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Cast Or Carry?

"Casting all your care upon Him; for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7....."Do not throw away your confident trust in Him no matter what happens." Hebrews 10:35...."Alas, we reverse the process: we cast away our confidence and carry all our care....We are so encumbered with ourselves that our minds are never free to be occupied with Him....You keep your confidence: He'll keep your care." Vance Havner

Why is it that we can know the above Scriptures so well, but experience their truth so little? I Peter 5:7 is one of the first Scriptures I learned, but it was many years before I came to experience its fullness.

I first came to plant a church here in Northern Virginia more than 25 years ago. I had the confidence and trust spoken of in those Scriptures.....to a degree. I had no idea that I would be challenged far beyond that degree. Growth in grace will always have that element to it. The Lord will take us to places beyond our ability, beyond our present level of trust. The book of Exodus tells us that "Moses stepped into the darkness, where God was." The journey of faith will surely take us into the darkness. Can we believe that, as He was for Moses, He will be there for us?

My first years here in Northern Virginia were challenging. We had few people, and even fewer resources. Yet I believed He would make a way...and He did. Slowly but surely He opened door after door. Eventually, He made a way for us to secure a permanent site in which to meet. Costs were higher than we were used to, but with God's help, we felt we could do it. He was faithful, and we had rich days in that facility. Then our lease ended, and our landlord wanted to give our place to a business that was willing to pay much more than we could. Added to this, the economic picture had radically changed in the five years we'd had our facility. Costs were more than doubled. We searched for a new site, and prayed as we searched. We found a facility that was suitable, but twice what we had been paying. We discussed the challenge, and felt that we should step out in faith and move into the facility. As we did this, we stepped into the darkness.

Steps of faith always include the completely unexpected. What people say they will do is not always what they will do. We moved, but a number of people didn't move with us. An already big financial challenge got much bigger. Our reserves carried us through for almost a year...then our reserves were gone. We were sure we would grow and see the finances grow as well. We didn't. They didn't. The financial pressure grew in intensity. Soon it went from monthly pressure to weekly, then to daily. How would we pay the rent, the utilities? In it all, I took it upon myself to carry this burden, and it was literally destroying me. Stress and anxiety were constant companions. I had done exactly what Havner spoke of. I'd cast away my confidence and I was carrying all of the burden. I kept seeing the problem, the need, and so I could only see myself and my response in return. I couldn't see Him. I couldn't hear Him. It was almost as if I didn't know Him. The church could no longer pay me, so I had to take an outside job, but even so, the costs, which were more than $4,000 per month just for the facility were overwhelming. The weariness, the heartache, the burden, just kept getting larger, heavier. It would be like this for two more long years.

I was in a place I'd never envisioned. The Father seemed so far away. The voice of Jesus seemed so silent. I blamed them. I didn't see myself as being the root of the problem. I didn't see the problem was me trying to be Them in the midst of it all. If there had been an escape route, I would have taken it. There wasn't, at least not in the natural realm. There was one in the spiritual. The Father. The Son. The Holy Spirit. Would I yield this impossible situation to them? Would I begin to see that in all the pressure, worry, stress, they had been there, providing, making a way, even as I had tried so hard on my own to "make it happen?" Finally, one morning, with my living room couch as an altar, I yielded it all to Him. And He took it all upon Himself. And what had been darkness became light. What had been despair became hope. What had been defeat was now victory.

The circumstances didn't change. The challenges were still there. What was different was what was within me. I knew that somehow, in all of it, He would make a way, and He did. We got through the fullness of the lease, and eventually came out of the desert and into the "broad land." In the process, I learned much. "Steps of faith" can sometimes be steps of foolishness. We shouldn't have taken the step that we did. We missed it, but we hadn't done so out of pride or disobedience. We just missed it, but in our missing, He didn't. He made a way for us, for me, and in the making, brought me a peace beyond what I thought possible. He gave me back my confidence....in Him, as I gave my care to Him.

I'm not sure why I write this today, except I feel His prompting to. Maybe you're walking just where I was. Maybe you're so encumbered with the problem, with yourself, that you can't see Him. Maybe you too have cast away your confidence and carry all your care. Maybe you've taken a step you thought right, but it isn't. Maybe you know the Scriptural promise, but are far from experiencing its truth. Maybe you need to find your own altar, and at it, the Father Himself. Maybe it's time, past time, to cast your burden upon the Lord, and in that casting, find Him...in the darkness.

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Walk

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' "
Isaiah 30:21....."Enoch....enjoyed a close relationship with God throughout his life. Then suddenly he disappeared because God took him." Genesis 5:23-24

I have never been, but I'm told it's a wonderful spiritual experience to make a journey to the Holy Land, to Israel. Many have especially pointed to the experience of "walking where Jesus walked." I'm sure that making the trip is all that those who have done so say that it is. However, there is a question that comes to my mind in that. Do we wish more to walk where Jesus walked, or where He is walking today?

We can make idols out of most anything, including our spiritual past and heritage. Nostalgia over what God has done, and where He did it can dominate our hearts and minds to the degree we cannot see where He is and what He's doing right now. We know where He has walked, but we're missing where He's walking now. This goes on from the pulpit to the pew. From General Boards to local ones.

I realize that pastors and leaders can inject their flesh, pride, and carnal desires into an agenda for moving people in the direction they want them to go. The Word gives us a clear safe-guard for this. It is an intimate walk of fellowship with Him. I love the Scripture from Isaiah 30. This is the portrait of what the believers walk with Him must be. At any and all points in the journey, His voice will speak if we make it in intimacy with Him. We worry so much about missing His will, but our yielded heart and spirit can know that wherever we are walking, His voice will continually speak direction. If we are facing the wrong way, His voice will speak behind us to reveal the right one. We will walk where He is walking today, and in our close fellowship with Him, we can trust that we will continue to walk where He is leading tomorrow.

I've a friend who gave a wonderful picture of Enoch's relationship with God. Scripture says that Enoch lived more than 300 years, always walking with the Father in close fellowship. Then God took him home. My friend thought that maybe their conversation went something like this; "Enoch, we've been walking together a long time now, and we're closer to my home than yours. Let's go there, together." Only Enoch and the Lord know what words might have been spoken, but I love that picture. Walking where He walks has one primary goal.....taking us home....to His home...which is our real one.

I go back to those Holy Land trips. Some have said that when we take them, we stand on holy ground. Yet I remember someone saying that wherever we stand with Him, that place becomes Holy Ground. When we walk where He is walking now, we walk on holy ground. Do we now walk there....with Him? In our marriages, parenting, workplace, neighborhoods, churches and ministries, do we walk with Him....on Holy Ground? Jesus is walking right now. In all of these places in life, do we walk with Him...on His holy ground? Or is it just our ground?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Impossible Life

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' " Matthew 19:26

Not long ago at a prayer and study group, a friend made the statement, "We're not called to a hard life, but an impossible one. But all things are possible in Him." Think on that for a bit. Think as well on all the things we have a tendency to say. One of them that comes to mind is, "God will never allow more than we can handle." I don't think that's a true statement. If we can "handle" something, than why would we need Him? His grace, strength, wisdom, and understanding? The fact is that God will allow things far beyond our natural ability to "handle." He will lead us into impossible places. Places where there is literally no hope. Yet, if in those places, we are yielded and obedient, He will do the impossible there. To experience that however, we have to lay down our agendas, our expectations, even our deepest desires, and simply trust Him. If we are to trust with and in all things, than we have to be surrendered to ALL of the ways in which He may choose to work. Especially those which are most "impossible" to our way of thinking.

Our flesh will always seek the place of ease and comfort. The place where it can remain in control. God will lead us to the place where we have no control at all. The place where all our abilities are not enough. The place where we see no way forward, or back. That's where the old saying, "When we reach the end of ourselves, we find the beginning of God," comes into play. Not many of us want to come to the end of ourselves. It's too scary. Too impossible. At that place stands a cross. Christ's cross. Oswald Chambers said that when Christ calls a man, He bids him to come and die. That's why His ultimate destination for each of us is His cross. For the flesh, that's the impossible place. Yet at the cross, and in the resurrection to follow, we find out that all things are possible in Him.

The life He calls us to is impossible. If we're thinking that we can somehow make it through on our own ability, than we are defeated before we even begin. Our flesh can accept a hard life. It will always balk at the impossible one. The cross was always before Christ. It is always before us. The devil thought he'd won at the cross. Christ, in the impossibility of it all, won total victory through His resurrection. The enemy of our soul believes he has defeated us in the midst of our impossibilities. If we're relying upon ourselves, than he has. But if we, like our Lord Jesus, have come to His cross, our cross, we will not only experience the impossible, we will live lives that are impossible. Impossible from every standpoint but His. You and I are called to such a life. Are we living it right now?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Rat

"For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing." 2 Corinthians 2:15

Worship leader Anthony Evans tells of his time as a contestant on the pop culture show, "The Voice." One of the celebrity judges spoke to him of his need to be totally engaged with the song he sang, to hold nothing of himself back from it. Only by doing so would he really connect with his audience, and she warned him of the consequences of failing in that. She said, "the audience can always smell a rat." They knew the difference between what was presented with a living passion, and what was nothing more than an act, a performance.

Whether we want it or not, the professing believer in Christ lives out their faith in front of an "audience," and that audience will always "smell a rat" when the "presentation" of that life comes nowhere near His words of life that we say are the foundation of our being. They recognize the difference between the act and the reality. Do we?

In 2 Corinthians, Paul speaks to this very thing. The true follower of Christ will be an aroma, a fragrance, to both those who live in His Kingdom, and those existing outside of it. That fragrance will be one of hope, joy, peace, encouragement, and holiness for those who know and live in Him. It is the fragrance of the life and reality of Jesus Christ. There can be no sweeter aroma. To those who presently live outside of Him, the fragrance of such lives may well bring some very unwelcome sensations to the heart and spirit. Conviction of the hopelessness of a life lived apart from Him. Conviction of need. Need of deliverance from the penalty of sin and the captivity in which it holds them. Conviction that apart from Him there is no hope, no peace, no joy. Conviction that what the world offers in substitution for these can never satisfy that yearning for the eternal that He has placed in every heart. This is an unwelcome fragrance to the flesh, yet at the same time, a welcome aroma to that longing that is found in the heart of every one born into this world, and that can only be satisfied in Him. Such lives, both within and without the Kingdom are our audience. This audience will know what's genuine and what isn't. They can smell a rat. What part of "the rat" might they smell in us?

As you and I step out into our day by day world, where do our passions lie? Is our heart's desire to know Him to the fullest and in every aspect of life? Do we yearn for those we live our lives before to see Him in our lives? Do we live with such a passion for Him that we not only connect heart to heart with Him, but heart to heart with a beholding church and world? Movie and play critics call acting performances that fail to do this "wooden." There is nothing believable in the performance. The critic has smelled the rat. For the follower of Christ, our lives are lived out on a Kingdom and world sized stage. The critics will abound, but it is not actually they we live our lives out for. We do so for Him...with passion. We don't perform for Him. We live for and in Him. With all of our hearts. We want to be a rich fragrance to Him. And here's the beauty; when we are, we're a sweet fragrance to both the church and the world. There is no smell of the rat. Just the sweet aroma of Christ. Is that what your life, walk, and witness are? Or, are they smelling the rat?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Show Us

Philip said, 'Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.' " John 14:8..."The great curse in modern preaching is that our people never see God." Leonard Ravenhill

I'm a preacher. I'm one not just by profession, but by calling. Here's a truth. If you are truly His, so are you. Francis of Assisi told his followers "Preach the good news. If needed, use words."

I hold a high view of the ministry of preaching the Word. I also believe that we are to do so not only from the pulpit, but from our workplace cubicles, board rooms, break rooms, and all rooms. Literally, wherever we are. In our doing this, our calling, our responsibility, is that in the "preaching" we really do "show them the Father." No matter how polished and precise we might think our "presentation" of Him is, if it does culminate in giving the listeners a living view of the living God, we have fallen short. Indeed, we've failed. Listeners will do what they will with what they've seen and heard, that responsibility lies with them. But they should know, as Scripture speaks, that there has been "a prophet among them." We are to walk in such a presence of Christ that His Presence cannot be denied even if it is rejected. I think the greatest preachers are those who go unnoticed while showing forth a God who cannot be missed. Are you and I such messengers?

While preaching cannot be confined to the pulpit, it does begin there. It's my heartfelt contention that the ministry of proclaiming the gospel is being steadily diminished in the western church. I doubt that there are many fellowships that lack a message when they come together. The question would be, who and what is the center of the message? Is it ourselves, how to have better, more successful and enjoyable lives? Or is it Him? How to know Him more deeply, experience Him more completely, and live lives that really do go "from glory to glory" in Him. Is it a message that proclaims His holiness, and our need of its transforming power? Our people should enter into every worship service expecting to "see" and encounter Him. Not the "props" we've come to depend on to hold their attention, but Him. To some degree, the words Larnelle Harris sings, "I've just seen Jesus, I tell you He's alive," ought to be the regular outflow of our preaching and worship. If we are not showing Him, encountering Him in our worship settings, those we go out to will not see and encounter Him either.

In every facet of our ministries, the question that has to be asked is, "Are our people seeing Jesus? Are they seeing the Father?" We have a holy calling and responsibility that they do. The results of their seeing is in His hands, but it begins with their beholding Him. In words, in actions, in lifestyles, they must see Him. As we preach Him, do they see Him? Do we show them the Father?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Which Voice?

"Then I heard the Lord asking, 'Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?' I said, 'Here I am. Send me.' " Isaiah 6:8....."Success is doing what we're called to do and having peace there." Anthony Evans

Some part of all of us longs to be successful. Our problem is that we've let the world define just what success is. Sadly, the world's definition has penetrated the body of Christ, His church. It's not new. The disciples argued over who would have the greatest place in the Kingdom. We who call ourselves His are still doing the same 2000 years later. Jesus gently, but firmly rebuked this spirit in His followers then. He still does today.

It's been 37 years since I first sensed His call on my life. Like Abraham, I "went out" from my home "not knowing where I was going." I didn't have anything on my mind and heart except to pursue Him through that call, and discover just where He would lead me. It was a simple but beautiful walk of faith. I really didn't think about just what "success" was or if I was successful. I just followed. However, it wasn't long before I started to see the "cravings" for success seeping into the lives of my classmates, and myself. It was at first a subtle competition among us that got progressively less subtle. It culminated with the "race" to see who would be the first to get a "call" to a church upon graduation. If one couldn't be the first, you certainly didn't want to be the last. To not receive a call at all was the worst kind of failure. The seeds of competition and striving after success would only grow once we entered into ministry. Worst of all was that as rugged as competition with each other might be, the competition we had with ourselves, with our own images of success, were the worst. We are own harshest taskmasters, and it is nowhere else as lethal as it is in this area. How could this be? How could we so distort His call to be the servant of all into one that seeks first the place of honor over all? How could the call become so corrupted?

Someone said that cravings speak to our flesh, but His voice speaks to our spirit and heart. Which voice speaks loudest to you and me? Oswald Chambers said, "Notice God's unutterable waste of saints according to the judgement of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places.....Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him and we are no judges at all of where that is." This truth penetrates to the very center of where we are in every aspect of life. We are all called, and He may well have placed us in scenes of what seems to the world and us, of "unutterable waste." If we are controlled by the world's definition of success, we will be the most miserable people on earth. If our heart's desire is to please Him, faithfully follow Him, and know that we are doing so, doing just what He's called us to do, where He's called us to do it, we will have the peace Evans speaks of.

We are each of us called of and by Him. Sometimes, not often, that call leads us into the recognition of the church and even the world. God can and does use that for His glory. Far more, I believe, does He use for His glory those ones who faithfully serve and follow Him in places where no one is watching, applauding, but Him. When we know that, it is enough. It brings Him glory. It brings us peace. In our marriages, relationships, jobs, and ministries, are we in possession of that truth? Are we living as slaves to what the world calls success, or living in the abundance and victory of the definition crafted by Him? Do we follow our cravings or His voice? Two voices. Which do we hear and follow?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - How Far?

I think I've written before on how, on my college campus, I tarried at the entrance of building where the, as we called them, "Jesus Freaks," gathered. I remember one of them seeing me, and with a smile, inviting me to come in. I stood there, contemplating, and then I moved on. I was in a bad way, but not bad enough. I was desperate, but not desperate enough. Five years later, I would be both, but there was something I was missing in both of those times. That was my knowing that the desperation felt by me, was also felt by Him. I was desperate for something more, and He was desperate that I might know that "something" was Him.

In my prayer journal I have written, "We have a desperate need, and desperate God, desperate to meet it." This can be seen in the Father's words in Hosea 11. Wayward Israel, always its own worst enemy, always wandering away from God, always choosing rebellion over being yielded to Him. A nation, a people whose hearts were usually far from Him, had before them a God whose heart was towards them...always. God saw a desperate condition and was Himself desperate to heal it. He sent prophet after prophet. He gave sign after sign. He brought about deliverance after deliverance, but again and again, Israel, like me, "lingered at the door" of salvation...and then walked away. They were desperate, but not desperate enough.

I'd like to say that I never repeated such scenes as that college one with Him, but I have. Even after coming to Him through His Son Jesus, in desperation, other such times followed in my journey. Times of being in a very bad way. Times of great desperation. Yet, just as in my college days, the way was not bad enough, and I was not desperate enough. So I sought to bring about my own deliverance, and to turn my bad way into a good one. And every time, the bad way only got worse, and my desperation deepened. In all of them, I failed to see, and realize, that my desperate God was there, desperate to enter into my suffering, my need, my brokenness.

Hosea 11:8 says that His heart was "turned over within" Him over the state of His people. How many times has it been so with you and me? Do we have any idea of the passion and compassion that He carries for us? Can we even begin to understand the depth of His desperation to enter into situations and needs, so often of our own making, and bring deliverance...salvation? My blindness to all of that led me to five more years of wandering and heartache. My continued blindness in such places added to the same in my life. A friend once related something he heard a preacher say about Jonah, while in the belly of the fish. Jonah who had sought to evade and hide from God, entered this place as a result of it all. It was in the belly of the fish that he came to the end of himself and to the beginning of the Father. That preacher simply asked, "How far down do we have to go until we know what's up?" How far down is it for you and me?

Where's your place of desperation right now? If you don't feel you have one, be sure, you will. What will you do in that place? Linger at the door, at His invitation, and then move on....to deeper need, greater desperation? Or, will you take that desperation to a desperate Father, desperate to meet it? How far down will you have to go until you know what's up?

Blessings,

Heart Tracks - Blocking God

"He who has ears to hear, let him hear." Matthew 11:15

We are living in a time where few seem willing to listen to anything that they don't like, disagree with, or that makes them uncomfortable. On social media, you can "block" the comments of others who do any and all of that. Now, I'll be the first to say that there is a great deal of "commentary" found in our culture that needs no listening ear. There is hatred, anger, being spewed out regularly and increasingly on every level of modern communication. More of it isn't needed. Yet there is One whose words are likely cut off, blocked, more than any other. That One is He who created us, sustains us, who, as His Word tells us, "holds all things together in Christ." We block Him out to our great harm. A harm that will carry out through eternity.

We like to think that it is only the "unbelievers" who do this. They reject His message of our need for deliverance from sin, and of His salvation that is offered through Christ. I've encountered many who do this. The Apostle Paul often engaged in conversations with those who were without Christ. Yet when his words began to penetrate their conscience, and bring conviction of need to their heart, they would abruptly end the dialogue, and most often, with anger. Blocking that which we don't care to hear has a long history in the human condition. I've seen it time and again. Eyes become stony, matching the condition of the heart. Whatever part of them may have been listening, no longer is. I've learned to recognize that "look," and every time I see it, my heart grieves anew. As I write this, might you be among them? Can you hear what He is saying? Or has the hardness of your heart once again "blocked" His voice, His Truth, His Life?

Yet it isn't the unbeliever only who does this. No, we who call ourselves believers in Him, do the same, and oftentimes on a daily basis. The unbeliever in us blocks out those words He speaks that we don't care to hear. Those words that expose those things in our lives that are completely counter to His Life in us. Various lusts for things we value more highly than Him. The indulgence of things in our life that we know to be sin, yet have managed to convince ourselves are acceptable because, well, we simply want them there. Aspects of immorality whether sexual, ethical, or simply ingrained in our attitudes and prejudices. These things have seeped into our hearts, minds and lives, and become strongholds. Strongholds out of which the enemy operates...against Him, and in our deafness, against us.

With the advancement of technology, we have found a myriad of new ways to avoid, to block out His voice. We have become highly skilled at letting in every voice but His. We tune them in while we tune Him out. What will be the end of it? I've never done a study, but I would have to believe that one of the most used words in the Bible must be "Listen!" Do we? Do you? Do His words register upon your heart? Or, will you go on finding new and "better" ways of blocking Him?

Recently I pondered the latest words of one who has for many years now, succeeded in blocking every attempt of the sharing of His words of Life. I thought, with a grieving heart, that one day, if this continues, they will stand before Him, and nothing they do will be able to block the reality of who He is, and the consequences of rejecting His voice and words. That day will come for each of us. For so many, that day will be too late to listen, to hear and receive what He says. With Him, the time is always "Now!" He speaks now. Will you hear and receive now? ......I heard a friend say that to "die in your sin was to die in the delusion that you can live apart from Him." It is delusion to think you can truly block His reality out. He is real. He is there. He speaks....now. What do you do with that....now?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Is It Enough?

"Then said Jesus unto His disciples, 'If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Matthew 16:24...."Is God at work in hard places? And does He expect us to join Him in those hard places? ...Would He really allow people who love Him dearly to fail? And, if so, is this a God who can use even holy failure for His purposes?" Nik Ripken

Nik Ripken is not the real name of the man who authored the above quote. He is unable to give his actual name because doing so would put both his loved ones and those he ministers to at risk of deeper persecution and death. He has ministered in areas of intense suffering, danger, and persecution for more than 25 years. Everything he has experienced has crushed all of his western ideas as to just what "success" in service to Him really is. In the forward to his book, "The Insanity Of God," he asks, "Would I choose to trust this God who I could not control? Would I willing to walk with this God whose ways are so different? Would I, once again, lean on this God who makes impossible demands and promises only His presence?"

I once thought I knew what it meant to "be blessed." My idea of this was to feel fulfilled, highly useful, and always moving forward in all ways, especially ministry. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking on the fact that such "blessing" depended mostly on outward outcomes. Things that happened to, and for me, not what was really going on within me. Prayer, ministry, service, all of them focused more on outcomes given by Him instead of upon Him. His heart, His Life, His Presence. I thought that if I believed, obeyed, and did all the right things, He would, indeed, He must, bless all the efforts and bring about all the desired results. What I didn't see was that this gave all the real control to me. It took some time before I realized that He called me to trust Him while at the same time knowing I could not control Him. I couldn't control where He sent me, what He commanded of me, and what the fruit of it all would be. Would I follow a God whose ways I most often didn't understand and couldn't predict? Could I rest in a God who does make impossible demands, while giving no guarantees except that of, as Ripken says, His presence?

We can be so flippant with Christ's call to "take up our cross." Most times we think that cross looks like the one we see in most church sanctuaries (if indeed they even display it). That cross is usually high grade, polished wood. It is beautiful to behold, but it is not the cross of Christ. The cross that He carried was rough, ugly, an object of disdain. Few would choose to display it in their fellowship. Fewer still have any desire to take it up. We're very sure of where we believe the beautiful, polished cross will lead. We've no idea where the rough, rugged one will. But we have this deep suspicion that it will be to places our flesh will hate, and our suspicions will be right.

I don't read as much on the spiritual level as I once did. Not because I've lost my love for it, but mostly because I find so few works of real spiritual depth, and I don't say that with any pride. It's just that most such books here in the west are focused on how to get to where we want to be and have what we want to have. Difficulties are minor, if they exist at all. Jesus makes a way for us, and that way will include little, if any suffering. If there's a cross in the journey, it's off to the side, and only partly, if at all visible. The Lord takes us to good, always fruitful places. He would never lead us into impossible ones. He does not say "Follow Me," while promising us nothing but Himself. But that is exactly what He does, and I wonder if that is what causes so many to "turn back and follow Him no more," when the reality of that truth sets in?

Little, if anything of my 35 plus years of ministry has been what I expected it to be. The outcomes I was sure of have not been the outcomes I've experienced. The blessings I thought to have, have not been the blessings I've actually received. But to my amazement, they've been better than I could ever imagine. He's taken me to and through places I would never have chosen, while revealing to me aspects of Himself I could never have hoped to know. I've learned and continue to learn the meaning of faithfulness. Mine, to a lesser degree, and His to the greater. All along the way have been opportunities to minister without guarantees of outcomes, just guarantees of chances to show forth His love, His Presence, and His Life. And I've found that this is what His calling is all about. Could it be that you might be learning of that yourself?

Oswald Chambers said that Jesus Christ was a failure from every standpoint but God's. In the end, that's the only viewpoint that matters. He calls us unconditionally. He directs us in the same way. All control, all the outcomes are in His hands. He invites us to trust Him, depend on Him, believe Him. Questions do arise. He doesn't promise satisfactory answers to them. He does promise Himself. Is that enough? Is it enough for you?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Yes, Lord!

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of Your law, we wait for you; Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." Isaiah 26:8...."We don't know what we're saying yes to, but we know Who we're saying yes to." Sheila Walsh

Sheila Walsh tells the story of a 10 year old girl who saved her allowance and bought a string of plastic pearls for $2. She treasured these "pearls" and wore them every day. Each night her father would come and read her a story before she went to sleep. At the end of the story he would ask her, "Jenny, would you give me your pearls?" She would reply, "Oh Daddy, you can have anything else, but not my pearls." He would then say it was alright, and she would go to sleep. Yet each night, he would read the story, and then ask again, "Jenny, would you give me your pearls?" She would answer over and over, "Daddy, you can have anything else. You can have my Princess doll, my stuffed animals, anything, but not my pearls." This went on for some time. Finally, one night her father came to once again read her a story, but he found Jenny looking at him, tears welling in her eyes. He asked her what was wrong. She brought her trembling hand from beneath the covers, and in it were her "pearls." She said, "Daddy, I love you. Here are my pearls." Her father took them from her hand, and then, out of his pocket he brought forth a string of shiny, beautiful, genuine pearls, and gave them to her. He'd been carrying them each night since he first began to ask the question. It was not until she was willing to release the counterfeit pearls that she could now receive the true ones. I wonder, how like Jenny are you and I when it comes to all the counterfeit treasures, pleasures and joys that we cling to, all the while missing the true treasure and joy that He has for us? That He is for us.

Our grip on what is not Him and of Him can be unbelievably strong. In too many cases, it's a death grip. We cling to things we see as precious, yet are destroying us. They stand between us and the Father. Sometimes they can be good things that keep us from the One who is the greatest and best. More often though, they are hurtful things that we have made "precious." Resentments, anger, the listing of wrongs done against us. They can also be labels we have allowed others to put on us. Failure. Inadequate. Not Good Enough, Pretty Enough, Smart Enough. They can be what one person called "Mug shots from our past." Things we've done, sins we've committed, acts that the devil has "taken a picture of," and brings to our minds on a regular basis. Each time pronouncing us "guilty," even though we long ago confessed and repented of the act. Good or bad, we can't let them go. Not even to the Father who loves us beyond words.

He is the "Pearl of great price," and everything we cling to that is not Him or of Him is "plastic pearls" in comparison. What are our plastic pearls? What is it that we cannot bring ourselves to release to Him. What do we have a death grip on that is literally bringing death to our souls? Can we, dare we, bring them to Him, and place them in His hand? Can we bring our counterfeit joys, pleasures, and treasures to Him....and receive from Him what is real? Real Life, Peace, and Joy. John Eldredge has a daily prayer that he lifts to the Father. He simply asks, "Today Lord, I want Jesus. The real Jesus."

I have clung to so many kinds of "plastic pearls" in my life. I've been willing to give Him everything but them. Yet in His persistent love and seeking, He kept coming to me, and finally, when I could resist no longer, I would surrender them to Him....and receive in return that Pearl of great price. He still comes, and too often, I still cling, but I am learning, finally, that no counterfeit can ever compare to Him. I want Him who is the Pearl. How about you? What is the string of plastic pearls you're hiding "under the covers?"

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Journey Food

"But Jesus said, 'You feed them.' 'With what?' they asked, 'it would take a small fortune to buy food for all this crowd.' 'How much food do you have?' He asked. 'Go and find out.' " Mark 6:37-38

Reading this passage this morning, I saw, through Him, a new way for me to look at it. Most often, we see this exchange between Jesus and His disciples as one where He is seeking to teach them that it is not what we have that is countable that matters. It is what we have in Him, that little is much when He is in the midst of it. That's a good and correct teaching, and we certainly need to walk in a faith that is confident of His miraculous ability to provide His abundance out of our lack. Yet there is something else I see here. Something we don't take stock of nearly as much as we should.

Jesus asked them how much "food" they had. He told them "go and find out." He once told His disciples that He had "food to eat that you know nothing about." He spoke of a spiritual, Kingdom food found only in His Father. It is that food that sustained Him during His 40 days in the desert. It is that food that nourished Him through all of His earthly ministry. That food which is available to those who are His, and it is so through the ministry of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Jesus always knew just how much of that food was His. Do we? Might it be time for us to find out?

Jesus also said that we don't live by bread alone, but "by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God." That Word is a living Word. That Word is literally His Life. Even more than our bodies need physical food, do our spirits, hearts and minds need His spiritual. Yet I believe it is our supply of this food that we are most likely to neglect. It is this food that we're likely to find ourselves short of in the deep needs, emergencies, and crises of life. We wander along feeding on and trusting in the "nourishment" this world offers. Yet when faced with needs and dangers far beyond our ability, we find ourselves seriously lacking, even bereft of the food Jesus knew and spoke of. Such a "diet" comes from an intimacy with Him, His Word, and His Life, that our worldly understanding really knows nothing about. It is wisdom to journey through this life knowing just how much of it we are in possession of. This will mean consistent "checking", the regular taking of our spiritual pulse. It is also this that we're prone to neglect.

The Father directed Elijah to undertake a journey in His will, and told Him as well that this journey "was too great for Him." Every journey in and for Him is. The difference between our victory and our defeat will be found in the "food" we carry. What and how much is ours? Perhaps it is time for us to "go and find out."

Blessings,
Pastor O