Heart Tracks - Two Calf God

     Jeroboam was an Israelite noble who became an enemy and rival to first, Solomon the king, and then his son, Rehoboam.  Eventually he led a breakaway of 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel and formed what became known as the northern kingdom.  Not long after, an idea, supported by his counselors, came to him.  God had required his people to come at certain appointed times, and offer sacrifice and worship at the Temple in Jerusalem.  Jeroboam feared that if he allowed his people to travel to Jerusalem, which was part of the southern kingdom, he would lose his people and his kingdom.  Therefore, he made two golden calves, and set them up in the town of Peniel.  He said to the people, "It is too much trouble for you to worship in Jerusalem. O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of Egypt."  Now, it was the Father Himself who had commanded that the people come to Jerusalem to worship Him, to make the journey from wherever their home was.  More, the two calves that Jeroboam and the people set up was not an abandoning of the name of Jehovah God, but the setting up of a god created according to their image of Him.  A more convenient God.  A God of convenience.  The Father however, called it sin, saying in I Kings 14:16, that the sin of Jeroboam caused the nation itself to sin against God.  The question that continues to whisper in my spirit is, to what degree have we committed that same sin?  To what degree have we sought to transform God into what fits our own image of Him?  How have we tried to make Him a more convenient God?  A God of convenience?

     A God of convenience is indeed, convenient.  He makes minimum demands and gives maximum co-operation.  He not only asks us do little, even more, He permits us to BE little.  We seek Him out, at places and times that suit us, for His co-operation in the fulfillment of our agendas.

We want Him to bring our plans and desires to pass.  Wanting Him is secondary, if such a desire is present at all.  Can we bear the question of what it is we really seek from Him?  Do we want communion with Him that will satisfy the deepest longing of our hearts, or co-operation from Him that will improve our lives and provide a convenient plan for us to follow in having that improvement?  We need only look at our prayer lives to see which one prevails.  If we ask this question of ourselves, then we must ask another.  Are we a blessing dependent people, or a Christ centered one?  If blessing is our central desire, our loyalty and love of Him only goes as deep as the blessings last.  Yet, if we are living in the deep of God, we move on in overwhelming victory whether blessing is present or not.  Indeed, our whole definition of what blessing is changes. He is the blessing, and one we will not give up no matter what comes our way.
    Where in our lives, our families and our church fellowships, have we too created a two calve god?  Where have we fashioned a god more in line with our own ideas of who he should be, and how he should behave?  The Father called, commanded the people to come to Jerusalem to worship Him.  There could be no other location.  He calls us today to the cross of Christ, to partake of that cross, for only there can we truly partake of His life.  Only there can we really worship Him.  Have you bought into the sin of Jeroboam, trying to relate to Him at Peniel, when He has called you to Jerusalem?  Do you pursue the good life as defined by you, or knowing Him and His life as He has defined life?  Do you come to Jerusalem, the cross, or do you linger at Peniel, with the two calf god?

Blessings,
Pastor O
     

Heart Tracks - Renovations

     There's a wonderful old Cary Grant movie titled "Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House."  The movie details the Blandings family's moving from a cramped city apartment into a large renovated home in New England.  The movie shows in hilarious ways all the trials and tribulations of the renovation.  I think it's an excellent picture of the work Christ seeks to do in not only individual lives, but in His Church as well.

     Jesus told us in the gospels that He has "gone ahead to prepare a place for you (us) so that where I am, you may be also."  Now, we usually understand this to mean He's getting our home in heaven ready for our eventual arrival, but if we only see it that way, we are missing so much of what He means.  The preparation of that home begins right now.  Christ engages in an on site "renovation project" in our hearts and spirit aimed at making them His home just as, even more, than they are ours.  The difference is, we don't get to move out while the renovation is going on.
     In the movie, the condition of the home being renovated was such that they literally had to tear it down from the inside out.  It was ready to collapse inwardly and only by removing all the old supporting structures and replacing them with new, strong ones, would they be able to make a home that was livable.  Again, this is not at all different from what the Lord will seek to do in our lives.   Psalm 51:6 says that the Father desires "truth in our innermost being."  When He undertakes a renovation of our hearts and lives, that means all the old lies that we have believed, found security in, but that are in reality rotting and collapsing, must be torn out, and His power and strength and truth will replace them.  Just as living in a home while it is undergoing renovation can be both painful and frutrating, so too will our renovation in Christ.
     His Word speaks much about the spiritual "strongholds" that may be present in our lives.  The strongholds are anything that we have allowed to become an alternative to God and in which we seek security in.  As Donald Rumble says, "They exist in our minds and inhibit the revelation of the Lord in our midst."  His renovation will expose and remove these hindrances, these lies, and replace them with His truth.  These strongholds that provide a false sense of security are endless.  Some of the ones Rumble names are "defensiveness, judgemental attitudes, anger, and self centeredness."  We can find security in these as well in material things, success in business or ministry, relationships, and a myriad of addictions.  Proverbs 18:10 says, "The Name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe."  The sad reality is that we have run to and sought safety and security in so many "names" that are not His Name.  Because of it, rot has set in, and sooner or later, our house will collapse.  This will be true of an individual, a family, and especially, the Church.  All our alternative to Him, all those places we have sought our sufficiency in, all of these strongholds, must be torn down.  It's the only real way He can "prepare for us a place."
    Where in our lives, our families, and yes, our church fellowships, have we constructed alternatives to God?  Where is the spiritual rot?  Where have we placed our dependence.  As individuals and families, do we find security in our education, training, income, possessions, and the regard of those around us?  As a church, do we find it in our buildings, our programs and ministries, our skilled and gifted leaders and laity, or our denominational heritage?  If we do, Christ the Workman stands before us.  He who was a carpenter, knows well how to tear down and rebuild what is collapsing in upon us even now, whether we know it or not.  He stands at the door of the soon to fall "house."  Will we bid Him enter....and begin the renovation?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Seeing, Touching

        As I was going through one of my prayer journals this morning, I came across some questions I'd put down as concerns the spiritual state of the church.  I want to emphasize that these are questions and not criticisms, but I think they bear consideration.  They don't really originate in my own heart, but flow out of my reading, conversations with other brethren in Christ, and prayer.  I just thought I'd place them before any who are reading this today.

      The first question is, "Are we meeting conscious, or Presence conscious?"  In other words, do we place more emphasis on what goes on in our gatherings, or do we focus upon the One Whom we are to gather before?  We can and do spend a great deal of time planning our "worship" giving attention to everything from lighting to style of delivery.  We look at the timing of the service, the message we want to get across, and the way we want to accomplish that.  Whether we intend it or not, we can be so very aware of the meeting yet nearly oblivious to the Presence of the One in whose Name we say we gather.  People may come with many expectations of the meeting, but how many truly come expecting to have a real encounter with the Living God?
      Next I would ask, "How much of what we do in our gatherings distracts from rather than focuses on Him?"  We can become so enamored in appealing to the visual and to the emotions, that no matter how well meaning, we end up putting the focus on our senses, on us, and we're totally distracted from Him.  We can come away feeling uplifted emotionally, and yet have had no real transformational encounter with Him.  If what we're calling worship leads us away and not towards Him, than it isn't really worship at all.
     The last question to be asked is, "Has the blessing become the enemy of the Blesser?"  Think on this.  So much of what we want to happen in "church" is that we come away feeling "blessed."  I remember seeing a church sign one time that listed a number of the things it had to offer and then at the end, in large letters, it read, "Just Great Stuff!"  Whether intended or not, do we seek to offer people "great stuff," or real opportunity for life changing intimacy with God?  God does desire to bless, but as in all things, He's the One who defines what blessing is.  I remember an old Jesus music song by Dogwood that had the line, "It's a bitter persuasion, but the end is so sweet," which spoke of encountering Him in such a way that we are humbled, broken, and so, greatly blessed.  The flesh will never see a transformational encounter with Him as a good thing, but our spirit, oh, the blessing we will know.  May we seek not the blessing, but the Blesser.
    In I John 1:1, John writes, "The One who existed from the beginning is the One we have heard and seen.  We saw Him with our own eyes and touched Him with our own hands.  He is Jesus Christ, the Word of life."  The need of the church, of you and I, is to behold Him, to lay hold of Him, to "touch," to "see," to encounter, to be transformed, to worship.  May it be the deep heart desire of every pastor, worship leader and fellowship member, to never be a part of any gathering where such does not take place.  There can be no doubt that such an encounter is His desire, is it ours?

Blessings,
Pastor O  

Heart Tracks - The Corpse

      It's been said that if there is a pattern of sinful behavior, or some place of unconfessed sin in our lives, the Father will continue to bring us, through the circumstances of our lives, again and again to a face to face "meeting" of those things, until we, in Christ, deal with it.  I believe this is true.  I believe it is true not only for individuals, but for the Body of Christ as well, and the individual fellowships that make up that Body. However, the lack of real spiritual health and vitality in both people and fellowships, seem to indicate "dealing" with these things has yet to really take place.

    There's a passage of scripture in 2 Samuel 21 that is a powerful illustration of how we so often deal with this.  David has replaced his cousin Joab as the leader of his army with a man named Amasa.  Joab was not a man to accept such a demotion in silence.  As the army was on its way to enter into battle against a group of rebels, Joab approached Amasa and took him aside on the road.  As they spoke, Joab pulled out his dagger and killed Amasa.  He then left him lying bleeding and dead in the road.  The surrounding troops gathered around and stared at his body. Seeing this, one of Joab's officers pulled the body of of the road, and covered it with a cloak.  The dead body was there, but it was covered up so that no one would see it.  I think this is a strong example of how so many believers and fellowships alike respond to acts of sin, unconfessed sin, that takes place in their lives, and in their midst.  We pull the corpse, the dead body, off to the side, cover it up as best we can, and then seek to move on, seemingly like nothing has happened.  The problem of course is that the corpse is still there, festering, decaying, and stinking.  We may not see it, and we may do everything possible to keep it covered, but its effects can't be ignored, and those effects will linger and grow worse by the day.
     I think we're very blind to what those effects are, and what they are doing to us and to the congregations we're a part of.  There's a huge difference between the admission of sin and the repenting of it.  Esau could shed tears over the sin of selling his birthright, but he could not, would not, repent of it.  Judas could despair to the point of taking his own life for his betrayal of Christ, but he could not, would not repent of it.  Peter, on the other hand, not only felt the grief of his own betrayal  of Christ, but also felt the brokenness of his failure, brought it to Christ, and in return received His cleansing, His forgiveness, and was made whole once more.  Too often, we in the church are far more like Esau than we are Peter.  Peter, with Jesus, buried his sin, and found wholeness and healing.  The corpse of Esau and Judas' sin remained, along with its stench.  Again, this is true of individuals, and its true of fellowships.
    There have been grievous wrongs committed in so many congregations.  Sinful acts done to pastors by the people, the people by the pastor, and the people to each other.  Often times a pastor will leave this situation, perhaps even be driven out, but the acts leading up to it remain, and too often, the corpse is merely covered up, so that the "business" of being a church can go on.  Yet the corpse will fester.  So often, the thinking is, "We just need to get a new leader in there, a fresh start," but unless the corpse is dealt with, its presence will linger on, affecting every aspect of the fellowship.  On the surface all may appear well, but underneath, in the spiritual health of the fellowship and people, how does the Father see it all.
   What would happen if we who are His, really began to deal with the "dead bodies" in our midst?  What if we began to seek to make right what we may have made so wrong.  I don't mean some morbid "doing of penance," but a grace filled freeing and transparent confession of sin and failure, that will bring forth the fullness of His life and Spirit in our midst?  I believe the effects would shake not only the church, but the communities and world it is in the midst of.  Why don't we, why won't we?  It's easier to keep the body covered, behaving as if nothing has really happened, nothing is really wrong, and as a result, living without the power and wonder of His life moving freely in our midst.  Where are the dead bodies in your and my life?  Will we, with and in Christ, uncover them, bury them, and so, find resurrection life?  Or, do we just go on keeping them covered?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Big 5

      I came across a study done by George Barna where he surveyed a large number of evangelical pastors.  He asked them what their parameters were for measuring their ministry success.  He said 5 points overwhelmingly emerged.  They were; Attendance, Giving, Number of programs, Number of staff, and square footage of their facility.  He said that very few offered up a healthy, growing condition of the Spirit in the lives of their people as a sign of ministry "success."  Can we take a moment to think about that?  Can it really be true that the square footage of the building we meet in has more priority in our ministry thinking than the well-being of those we are charged to care for?  Yet, I cannot point a finger at any of them because for most of my ministry life, those five points have been how I've measured success as well.  It was not that I didn't want people to grow in the Spirit, but consciously or not, that was a secondary concern to the "big 5" as put forth by Barna's study.

     There was another aspect to the study that was more than alarming, it was frightening.  Pastor's were asked as to whether or not they believed in the power and authority of the whole word of God as revealed in scripture.  Over 90% said that they did.  Yet, when pressed as to whether or not they were willing to preach the whole word, even if doing so came into direct conflict with the cultural norms and values surrounding their ministry, only 10% said that they would risk that.  They admitted that to do so would mean offending many within their congregation.  Many might leave, and then the "big 5" would no longer be very big.  So, holiness and purity of life and living, and the very clear teaching of the Word concerning human sexuality and purity, integrity, stewardship, and what it means to really be a follower of Christ, were watered down in order to present a view of Christianity as something that we add on to our lives, and Christ becomes instead of Lord and King, a kind of heavenly helper who assists us in getting the life we want and feel we deserve.  The cross was for Christ, not for us.  All the sacrifice was by Him, and all the benefit is for us.  Again, I don't think we're always conscious of this, but it's the price we have to pay to keep the Big 5 front and center.
     In the Old Testament, the Father placed this crushing accusation against the priests and prophets of Israel.  He told them that "You have offered superficial treatments for my people's mortal wounds."  When I read those words, hear those words, everything about me as a minister comes under the scrutiny of His voice speaking them.  How much of what I offer is nothing more than superficial treatment.  How many of the mortal wounds of those He has given me to minister to remain untended, unhealed?
     I've a friend that says we have overemphasized the term "sheep" when speaking of those He has given us to feed and nurture.  Sheep are always dependent on the shepherd.  Without him, they cannot feed or survive.  All who first come to Him are sheep, but it has never been his intention that they remain so.  My friend says that the Father intends that sheep become His sons and his daughters.  Adult sons and daughters.  Adults do not have to depend on the shepherd for food.  They can find it themselves in the word and life of the Father.  This is the place that the shepherd must take every sheep the Father has given.  Yet the Big 5 is  a great obstacle for that really happening.
    I know this seems geared towards fellow pastors, but really it speaks to all of us, "sheep and shepherds" alike.  Shepherds must yearn to see their sheep become mature sons and daughters of the Father, and that same desire must be in the hearts of the sheep themselves.  To come to a place in Him where they are not dependent upon someone else feeding them, but know how to partake for themselves of the Bread and Water of Life.  His Life.  Desire.  Where does yours lie today?

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - Is This It?

     Not long ago I heard a genteel southern lady in her early 60's tell of how she had felt led of the Lord to start up a ministry in her home for recently released female prisoners as a means of helping them transition back into society as well as ministering to their souls.  She said that the beginning years of this ministry were extremely difficult, far beyond anything she had expected.  She had always believed that the Father had a destiny for her, but found herself asking Him, "Lord, is this it?"  I can identify with that question.  I'll wager you can as well.

     I've seen several articles of late detailing the great number of pastors who are just up and leaving the ministry. A number of reasons are given, exhaustion, spiritual burnout, depression, and a good number besides.  Ultimately, they feel they have no other choice but to step out, to resign. I make no judgement.  As a minister, I know well all those factors and a few more besides.  More, I don't believe one has to be a "professional" in the Kingdom to have those same type of feelings as concerns life in and for Him.  There are so many who want to resign their current place in life, and all that goes with it, their marriage, their job, their family, even their walk with Him.  Turning aside, turning away can so often seem like the only option, the only choice left to us.  Yet there is another, if we'll but allow Him to open our eyes and hearts to it.  In the midst of the pain, the disappointment, discouragement, even despair, He can do it.  He will do it.
    The wonderful evangelist Vance Havner once shared a message that was directed to pastors, but I think speaks to all who find themselves wanting to give up in the midst of their walk with Him.  He said that we would choose one of three options; the first being just out and out resigning, giving up, walking away.  He said that many will do just that.  He said the second choice will be made by an equally great number; they'll stay where they are, putting on a good face, acting like all is well, carrying out their day to day responsibilities, but all the while, they are dying inch by inch each day.  Then there was the last group, much smaller than the first two.  These he said would not resign, but re-sign.  They would re-sign their names to the covenant of grace, written in His blood and sealed at the cross.  A covenant that guarantees the power to live the resurrection life He gives us.  His signature on that covenant never fades, but ours can and so often does.  When that happens he said, we need to re-sign it once more, put our names to it anew, and anew, receive the fullness of His life in living it out day by day.  When we do this, we find, as Dudley Hall said, that He not only lives in us, but for us.  As Paul said, the life we live is Christ, and that is a life nothing can touch.  We can so easily forget that, but He never does, never will.
     Paul wrote in Romans 8:29, "For whom He foreknew, He also predestined, to be conformed to the image of His Son."  This is the true destiny of all who are His.  Everything in this world, and all the power of hell is set against us in seeing it come to pass in the lives of His people.  We may ask in the valley of death, "Is this it?", but we will find, if we hold on, if we look once again at that precious covenant signed in His blood, and at our name that is affixed there as well, that yes, it is, as He uses that place to bring us ever deeper into life in the image of Christ.  And we are not resigned, but re-signed to the covenant, and the journey we travel in it.  Destiny fulfilled.

Blessings,

Pastor O 

Heart Tracks - The Voice

    There's a very popular TV program called "The Voice" that garners millions of viewers each week.  People eagerly seek to hear the singing of the contestants, as well as the comments of the celebrity panel that listens to them.  I've only ever seen bits and pieces of the show, but I never cease to feel grief over the reality that in comparison, there are so few who truly wish to hear and follow the Voice of the only One whose words truly matter....Father God.

    Both within and without the professing church, there are people everywhere who are journeying through life convinced they are on the right track.  In the Old Testament, it was said of the people of Israel in a time of non-relationship with their God that "everyone did what they felt was right in their own sight."  It's a description that could easily be put upon so many of us today.  If it makes "sense" to us, to our fleshly thinking, our emotions, our desires and wants, then we see no real harm in carrying out the behavior.  God is loving, He's understanding, and He certainly wants us to be happy.  Being happy, and not holy is the overwhelming desire of most today.  Yet we are blind to the fact that happiness is always dependent on what's going on around us, and only good conditions can maintain it.  God never promised continual happiness in this life, nor did Jesus.  What They did promise was joy, and joy comes from a life lived out fully in Him.  Such a life will overcome.  It will know victory, wholeness, and yes, holiness.  Our flesh will never lead us to such a life, but His Spirit will.  Which, who, leads us in our lives today?

    In Acts 2:40, on the day of Pentecost, Peter preaches to the people of Jerusalem, those who would have been considered the church, and beseeched them to "turn from this generation that has gone astray."  I like the way the King James renders it, "turn from this untoward generation"  I heard one man define untoward as "towardlessness," a direction going nowhere.....but death  Many are walking in just such a way today.  We are caught up in pursuing things we think will make us happy, jobs, relationships, successful families, at least as we define that, even ministry.  We do it while all the while being oblivious to the reality that we are very much a part of that "untoward generation."  Yet there is hope for us in the power and life of He who is The Voice.  That Voice speaks today if we'll but hear it.  Can we?
   Speaking to just such people, the Father says to them through the prophet Isaiah in 30:21, "...you will hear a voice behind you say, 'This is the way; turn around and walk here.' "  The voice came from behind them, because they were walking in the wrong direction, away from Him.  Yet, in His great love and concern, He called out to them, to turn around, to repent, to change the way they thought, believed, and lived, all by His grace and power, and begin either anew or again, to walk "here," with Him. In and towards His life.  Where might our "here" be?
   What might His Voice be speaking to you and I right now?  What is going on in our life today that is leading us away from Him?  What seems right to us, but which the sound of His voice proves to us is not?  The voice of the world and the flesh screams at us.  His Voice whispers.  All of the world's noise cannot silence it....if we really wish to hear Him.  Do we wish to?

Blessings,
Pastor O           

 

Heart Tracks - All

     I've a friend who likes to say that as His people, we will go through life either as results or Source oriented.  If we focus on what the results, the blessings and fruit of our knowing Him are, we will at best live a rollercoaster spiritual life.  When the results of our prayers, our ministries, our efforts and our hopes, are not what we had wished for, then disappointment and discouragement will be constant companion.  Yet, if we centered on the real Source of all things, the Father, then it is not visible results that are measured, but our invisible yet unbreakable connection to Him that prevails.

     Not long ago, during my morning time with Him, the thought came to me, most certainly from His Holy Spirit, that though He has not "given" me all that I wanted, hoped for and desired, and though many of the events of my life and ministry have not turned out as I may have planned, He has never, in any of the places and instances of both, failed to give me any thing less than the fullness of Himself.  He has never ceased to give me all of Himself that I could at any moment receive, if I would but receive Him.  The limit was always in what I could or would receive.  There was never any limitation in Him.
     So many of us walk through life in deep frustration, even anger over what we feel we have missed, or He has not "delivered" on.  Things we may have fervently prayed for and sought.  This happens because we focus on the answer, the supply, the provision.  The result.  Our hope, expressed or not, is in them, not on He who is the source.  A.W. Tozer once wrote, "Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians is our failure to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly.  We insist upon trying to modify Him nearer to our own image."  A God in our image.  God as we think He should be, doing what we think He should do.  After all, isn't that what we'd do......if we were God?  In our blindness, we can't see that God is exactly who we're trying to be.  Through so much of my life and ministry, I've had far more interest in trying to shape Him into my image of Him, who I think He should be, rather than receiving Him, worshiping Him, for who, and as He really is.  I don't think I'm the only one.  Oswald Chambers said we get so focused on getting to an end, a goal, a place, that we totally miss what He wishes to do in and through us in the process, in the journey.  Is that close to the mark for you and I?
     I have written in my prayer journal that true spirituality is, "In everything within and without, Christ is all in all."  I don't know who said that, but I know it's true.  The apostle Paul lived this way, and so must we.  In Philippians 3:10 he wrote that it was his determined purpose to know Him. He said this from a prison cell, at the end of his life.  Yet even there, at the end of all things here, his passion and focus was in having and knowing all of Him that he could.  It was not the cell, the guards, the waiting executioner, the results that he saw.  It was Christ.  His all for all that Paul was, right where he was.  May it be so with you, with me, with all who are His.

Blessings,
Pastor O  

Heart Tracks - The Hallway

     Followers of Jesus have almost made a cliche' of the saying, "When the Lord closes one door, He opens another."  I believe that is so, but the timing of that opening is in the hands of God, as well as the shape of the door, and where it will lead to.  In the meantime, it's our part to "wait in the hallway," and as I heard someone say,"When one door closes, and no other door opens, it's hell in the hallway."  The hallway of waiting can truly be an agony for those who are seemingly trapped there.  What we do while there determines everything.

     I heard a singer named Ricardo Sanchez tell the story of a severe spinal injury to his son which he learned of while he had just deplaned at an airport.  When his wife told him that the medical staff had told her that she needed to prepare for the worst, that he was not likely to survive, he sank to his knees before God, right there in the airport.  With all those passing by just looking at the strange sight of a man on his face before God, he prayed.  Though the news he had gotten was that the injury to his son was the same type that paralyzed the actor Christopher Reeve, and he was given no outward reason to hope, he heard the voice of the Spirit whisper to him, "It's not over."  For 4 hours, he remained right where he was, praying, while his son was in surgery.  In the 5th hour, his wife called him, and said that the surgical team could not account for why they had been able to repair the damage, but they had.  With every voice screaming "It's over," the still, small voice of Christ whispered to his heart, "It's not over."
    There is a greater truth here than what we might see on the surface.  What happened for Sanchez's son is not a guarantee that you and I can expect the Father to respond to us in the same way when we find ourselves in hell's hallway.  He is sovereign and His ways past all understanding, but we are guaranteed the power of His risen life there....if we'll receive it.  The door we seek may not be the one we want, and may not lead to what we hoped for, but it will be His door, and His way, and He will, as He promised, bring eternal good for us, and great glory for Himself if we will go through it.
    Sanchez said something that needs to be passed on to all who will hear.  He said that in the hallway, we always cry out "Why?"  He then made the picture of the letter Y with his hands, and said that the crook of that letter formed a valley, which is where we would find ourselves, in the valley.  If we continue to demand to know why, we will remain in that valley, that hallway, trapped, but, and he moved his hands to illustrate, if we will extend our hands upward, in wholehearted worship, even in the valley, the hallway, we will then understand what it is to be lifted out of the pit of miry clay, even the darkest pit and most paralyzing clay.
    All of us at some point will come to the hallway, with seemingly no way out.  Will we insist on asking Him why, or will we worship?  We can do this, even in the hallway of hell.  The next door is always found if we will dare to look up.....to Him.

Blessings,
Pastor O

Heart Tracks - The Worst Day

      The worst day of my life.  That's what it was to me.  I was about a month into the time after my wife had left me, my ministry was in limbo, I was living on a church campground, and sitting in a Coca-Cola delivery truck in Charlottesville, Virginia, in the dark, at 6 am in the morning.  The darkness around me seemed to be even less than the darkness that gnawed at my spirit within me.  It was my first day on the job, and I had driven the 40 miles to get there along a pitch black, winding road.  I remember thinking as I drove and my headlights flashed upon the trees and bank alongside the road that my life was in such a place that simply allowing my car to run off that road and crash into those trees might not be a bad idea.  Now, as I sat in that truck, all I could think was "Lord, how did I get here?  How could you allow me to be here?  What am I doing here, and will 'here' be the end of all things for me?"  It was a very dark night of the soul.  It was the worst day of my life.

     That wasn't the last worst day for me.  There have been more.  Times when the surrounding darkness of my circumstances pressed in on me, sought to overwhelm me.  Yet in those "worst days" was a constant that could not be overwhelmed.....ever.  That constant was the presence and life of Christ within me.  The pain was real.  Loss was real.  Questions were real.  Christ and His life were more real, even when it "felt" like He was not.  I heard author and speaker Christine Caine recently say that when we live in the fullness of Christ, "the devil on his best day cannot take you out on your worst."  This is true.  This is real.  It can't be explained, but it is certainly proven by the victory we live in that is Christ the King.  That is key.  We are victors, not victims.  The worst days happen, but they do not own, master us, if we are living in the fullness of His life.  He has never promised that we would not have that worst day, but He has promised to live in and through us in the midst of it.  Caine, using the example of Christ coming to the disciples, walking on the water, as they struggled against a raging sea they thought would destroy them, said, "Jesus came walking on top of the water that they were sure was going to drown them."  He will not do less for you and I.  The worst of our lives will always receive the best of His.
      The Father did not leave me sitting in that truck in Charlottesville.  Neither did He leave me in any of the other "worst days" of my life.  I heard of a man who proclaimed each day, not just with his lips, but with and from his heart, that Christ was King of kings and Lord of lords.  When we live in that reality, no worst day may destroy us, and every worst day must bow to Him.  Are you in the midst of your worst day?  Do the effects of your worst day, even if it be years ago still hold you in chains?  Allow Christ, whom Paul called in 2 Corinthians 9:15, " a gift too wonderful for words," to show you just how wonderful He is......even on your worst day.

Blessings,
Pastor O